In this issue of Beacon Bits:
A genuine connection: volunteer, engage, make a difference
Four days a week, Frank Liu arrives at Hart’s Hill Heights, an elderly and disabled housing unit in Wakefield, at 10:30 in the morning.
He makes his way to the dining room, where he rolls up his sleeves and washes his hands. The dining room supervisor loads her arms with meals to be delivered to the building’s homebound residents. Frank tends to the business of preparing lunch for the residents who start filtering into the dining room at 11:35 -- greeting Frank, chatting with their friends, and making their way toward their regular lunch tables.
Frank retired from pharmaceutical sales about three years ago. He says that he wanted to keep active and stay busy during his daytime hours, and so he called Mystic Valley Elder Services about a year and a half ago in search of volunteer opportunities. “I’d been working for 33 years, so I didn’t really know what it meant to be retired,” he says.
In the year and a half that Frank as been volunteering at the Hart’s Hill lunch site, he’s donated over 675 hours to his community. “I’ve lived in Wakefield since 1989,” he says, “and I like the thought of giving something back.”
Frank is a member of the Mystic Valley volunteer community, a member of the Hart’s Hill community, and also a member of a dynamic and growing corps of older Americans donating their time through RSVP (Retired and Senior Volunteer Program).
RSVP honors the experience and expertise that seniors can offer their communities and helps to connect them to volunteer opportunities that are fun and fulfilling. Some RSVP volunteers donate hours as reading partners to elementary students and others, like Frank, connect with their peers at lunch sites around the Mystic Valley service area.
That interaction with the guests who gather for lunch each day at Hart’s Hill Heights is part of what keeps Frank so dedicated to the job. “We laugh, we joke with each other, have good discussions,” he says. “We’ve gotten to know each other. I really like them.”
Guests come to the lunch sites for a variety of reasons – some are unable to cook for themselves, or have a hard time choosing nutritious foods. Others could cook, but choose to come together every day to visit with friends and connect with their neighbors.
Robert Hale has been an RSVP lunch site volunteer for over eight years. He’s also active on the board of directors of the Council on Aging in Wakefield.
“We have a lot of programs that are helpful to our seniors,” Robert says, “but I tell you that there is nothing in my mind that epitomizes the worth and purpose of all of this more than the meal site operation.
“I have seen many people over the years I have been here who would have no social life, no good nutrition, and little of interest in their life if they did not have the daily meal site.
“I have greeted many people over these years and made them feel welcome each time I saw them, and they would just light up to know that they were being recognized.”
Mystic Valley Elder Services and rsvp are currently accepting applications for volunteers at our Medford, Everett, Reading, and Malden lunch sites. If you're interested in developing genuine and strong connections with your community members and your neighbors, contact Lauren Reid at 781-324-7705 x 174 or at
lreid@mves.org.
How to address elder hoarding
I think that my mom is a hoarder. She’s got garbage and old papers and unopened boxes lining her hallways to the point that it’s tough to walk. The odor gets stronger every week. I’m worried that if it continues, she’ll lose her apartment, but I can’t seem to get through to her. What do I do?
Hoarding is an increasingly prevalent issue with elders, and it can have severe consequences – including risk of injury, illness due to lack of hygiene, and eviction.
But hoarding is not merely a behavioral problem. It can be either a mental illness of its own, or a symptom of a larger condition, such as obsessive compulsive disorder, depression, or schizophrenia.
Some theories have associated the save-and-reuse mentality of those growing up during or after the Great Depression with elder hoarding. Some new studies even see a link between hoarding and genetics.
Unless you are a hoarding expert, you are going to need help getting through to your mother.
Find a therapist. Don’t touch anything without your mother’s permission. Throwing out those 18 empty cereal boxes won’t cure mental illness, and it could further agitate your mother, leading to more hoarding.
The therapists who are trained to work with hoarders usually employ a very gradual approach that involves making sure the elder feels safe. It includes both therapy sessions that help the elder’s overall wellbeing and short decluttering sessions where the therapist and the elder will identify a specific goal, such as clearing a specific doorway, and take small (sometimes very small) steps in the direction of that goal.
It’s important to remember that a gentle approach with your mother will be key. As long as she is competent and capable, she has the right to refuse any help offered to her.
Try to start the conversation from a problem-solving standpoint, identifying the specific concern. Here, you might say to your mother, “I know that your landlord has threatened to evict you over the belongings in your home. I’m really worried about what would happen to you if you were evicted, and so I’d like for us to look together for someone who can help.”
If an elder in your life needs help with hoarding issues, call Mystic Valley Elder Services at 781-324-7705.
Mystic Valley Elder Services is able to provide assistance and resources to elders, adults of all ages living with disabilities, and caregivers. We do this by partnering with elders, our community, and health care professionals. Our Community Programs department helps seniors like Frank and Robert, above, to find engaging and fulfilling volunteer opportunities. Our Elder Protective Services program and our
MVES Gap Fund are able to assist elders who have severe hoarding issues that put them in danger of illness or eviction. These programs all need the support of our community to continue.
Please give a gift to Mystic Valley Elder Services today -- a gift to Mystic Valley is a gift to the thousands of people who find what they need at Mystic Valley every year.
