The holidays are quickly approaching and making sure we’ve purchased all our gifts is only one concern we face. Of greater importance is ensuring that elder relatives are safe and prepared for future needs.
The holidays typically bring families together even when family members live far apart. When adult children make holiday visits—especially when traveling a long distance—they can be surprised to see how their parents are aging. Although it is tempting to try and “fix” everything in parents’ lives during a visit, the short duration of these visits usually allows only a handful of issues to be covered. And remember they are your parents, not your children. For better or worse, you can’t make them do things they don’t want to do no matter how much you love them! Try to be calm and objective. Remember how you felt when you were a child and they gave you “good advice.” Approach the discussion with an open mind, respect for their wishes, and recognition that they still want to maintain their independence and sense of self.
Having said all that, children may want to discuss some or all of the following areas to help a parent(s) live as independently as possible with dignity by providing realistic, quality choices for care and services.
1. Find out what financial benefits are covered by your parents’ Social Security and pension. Determine if they are eligible for other financial programs.
2. Be certain each family member has a living will. Know where all your parents’ insurance policies, wills, trust documents, tax returns, and investment and banking records are located.
3. Understand that Medicare generally does not cover long term care (e.g. nursing home or extended home care), and Medicaid pays only for low-income individuals.
4. Investigate what type of long term care insurance coverage may be best for your parents and for yourself! Generally, premiums are lower when policies are purchased at younger ages.
5. Identify what community services are available that can help your parents maintain independence in the home for as long as possible—such as a home modification program to help install assistive devices, and home health and chore assistance. Learn whether housing options are available to meet their changing needs. Call Mystic Valley Elder Services for advice and service options at 781-324-7705 or 1-800-AGE-INFO from anywhere in the United States.
The holidays should be enjoyable and relaxing for children and parents alike. Still, take some time to address these important issues so that your parents will be taken care of during the holidays and throughout the year.
Information excerpted from National Association of Area Agencies on Aging materials.