Educate Yourself About Caregiving

Question: Over the last few months, several of my colleagues and I have unexpectedly been confronted with elder care issues. We all have college degrees and are successful in our careers but we're in over are heads when it comes to caring for our parents. We've been trying to help each other whenever possible but some of us need more than this. What should be our first step?

Answer: When you are helping an elder, the issues and questions may seem never to end. Those of you who have assumed a caregiver role for an older relative have probably already faced challenges for which you were totally unprepared. Odds are some of you have made a few mistakes in the decision-making process and you want to be better informed, enabling you and your parents to make wise choices. Others of you may be anticipating a time in the near future when you will need to take on more responsibility for your aging relatives. Remember that making good decisions is a team effort. Only in rare circumstances (for example, when a loved one has advanced dementia) should you as the caregiver feel the burden of making all the potentially life-changing decisions. Your parents should have the right and the responsibility to make informed decisions with your input and support.

To prepare for caregiving, families should learn as much as possible about community resources for older adults and the resources’ funding sources. Medicare, Medicaid, and private health insurance will pay for some health-related services when specific conditions are met. The state and federal government fund community-based programs, although there is great variance depending upon locality. The big question is determining what your loved one needs, what programs he or she may be eligible for, and what service(s) is going to best meet the identified needs at that time.

Although you have the best intentions of helping your loved one, you should seek the assistance of an elder care professional. Having an objective, experienced, qualified individual to assist you in planning for long-term care, whether it is in the home or in a long-term care facility, could be invaluable. It is extremely difficult to maintain clarity about current problems when dealing with the intense emotional impact of caregiving. Just having someone to bounce ideas off, facilitate family meetings, validate your feelings, and support you through a difficult time is very beneficial. It may sound strange, but sometimes we are just too close to the situation and need an outsider to help us determine which tasks to handle ourselves and which to seek assistance with.

You have taken the first step by recognizing your limitations and asking for help. And, help is only a call away. Every city and town in the nation is covered by an Area Agency on Aging such as Mystic Valley Elder Services. Since the inception of the Family Caregiver Support Program, these agencies are focused on sustaining the efforts of families and other informal caregivers as they help aging relatives remain at home in the community. You can reach an Elder Care Advisor at Mystic Valley Elder Services by calling 781-324-7705.