Checking On Those Far Away

Question: Over the holidays my family realized none of us had received a card from one of our relatives living out of the area. We tried to get in touch and eventually she returned the phone call. It appears she has been depressed for the last few months and could not get into the holiday spirit. She was widowed several years ago but seemed to have dealt with her loss and had even started dating. What could be going on with her and should we be doing anything?

Answer: Depression is the most prevalent emotional disorder in older adults, impacting the lives of approximately 20 percent of people over the age of 65. It far too often becomes an undiagnosed and constant factor for people in their later years. This is an unfortunate occurrence since statistics show that 80 percent of people improve and return to normal lives if treatment is received.

It is very important to recognize the common symptoms of depression. Look for signs of eating or sleep disturbance, difficulty concentrating or making decisions, loss of interest in pleasurable activities, thoughts of death or suicide, irritability, tiredness, and memory deficits. If someone has been struggling with several of these issues for more than two weeks, it may indicate a real problem exists and professional help is warranted. (For more information about depression and treatments, visit the National Institute of Health’s web site at www.nimh.nih.gov).

Depression can often surface during this time of year. The holidays have a way of taking us back in time. Your relative’s memories of happier days spent with her husband could have sent her spinning in a downward cycle. Was she alone for the holidays? Feelings of loneliness and emptiness can be overwhelming. It seems we are all expected to be jolly and festive during this season when there are people who are facing real challenges and difficulties in their lives. Sometimes the expectations of how we are supposed to feel are just too much.

Your relative also may have new medical issues that could be exacerbating her moods and frame of mind. Depression frequently occurs in individuals diagnosed with heart disease, cancer, stroke and other serious health conditions. Some medications used to treat these health concerns are also believed to produce or intensify depression.

Decide which family member feels most comfortable broaching the subject. This person should try to encourage your relative to talk about what has been bothering her. Encourage her to seek assistance from professionals if she is not already doing so. A physical exam, to rule out medical problems, is a good start.

There are numerous approaches to treating someone with depression. It is essential to determine which treatment will work best for her. In closing, not sending out the holiday card may have been the most important message your relative sent this year. Good for you and your family that you “received” that message and are acting on it. Surely, she will appreciate your thoughtfulness.