Watch For Warning Signs

Question: Due to job, family responsibilities, and living out of state I haven't seen my elderly mother in almost a year. I call her at least once a week in order to stay connected. Over the last two months or so she has started to sound strange, but I'm not sure what is going on. I’ve finally been able to plan a trip back home to see for myself how she is doing. Now I'm worried she may not be able to stay in her home and I know she will not cooperate with going to a nursing home. Please tell me what to look for?

Answer: The Administration on Aging and the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging suggest family members pay special attention to several "warning signs" that may indicate that all is not well with older relatives. These are some of the areas to consider and what to look for:

Has it become noticeable that your mother has lost weight over the last year, had a significant decrease in appetite, or appears to have lost interest in eating?

Is it obvious she is being neglectful about personal care? Does she bathe infrequently or wear dirty clothes? Does she have bad breath or dirty nails or hair?

Has your mother started to isolate herself from friends and family, dropping out of activities and groups that were once a very important part of her life?

Are you aware that bills are going unpaid, money is being mismanaged, medical appointments are being missed and not rescheduled, or prescriptions are unfilled?

Have longtime acquaintances expressed their concerns over recent bizarre behavior, forgetfulness, confusion, or signs of depression?

Has anyone noticed burns, bruises, or cuts that might be indicative of general weakness or falls?

These indicators may not be a signal of immediate danger but they definitely send up a red flag that intervention on the part of family members and a physician may soon be required. If you do notice some of these signs, don't jump to the conclusion that this automatically means you should start pursuing nursing home placement for your mother. Now is the time to find out what services are available, which ones might be currently appropriate, and what options should be considered for future access. The philosophy today is to support an individual’s independence and allow him or her to age in place. With the assistance of agencies like MVES, your mother could safely live in the community for years to come.